Should you have a first look or not? This is a question many couples ask, and my honest answer as a wedding photographer is that I do personally and professionally recommend having a first look. However, I know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea which is totally okay too! Doing what feels best for you and your partner is always going to feel the most important.
Keep reading to learn all about the pros and cons of having a first look!
What Are the Pros of Having a First Look?
- You get intimate time with your partner
- Having a first look can help calm anxiety or stress prior to the ceremony
- Family photos can be done ahead of time instead of after your wedding ceremony
- You can have a more laidback wedding timeline
- It’s a chance to photograph a special moment just between you and your partner in a private setting
What Are the Cons of Having a First Look?
- You won’t be sticking to tradition
- You will need to start getting ready earlier in the day to have a first look
- Your photos will take place earlier in the day
First Look vs No First Look – Which Should You Choose?
There is a lot of discussion about having a first look on your wedding day, and there are truly a lot of pros and cons on either side. Here are a few important things I point out to couples who come to me and aren’t sure if they want to have a first look:
When you think about not having a first look, then realistically, you’re spending half of your wedding day without your partner.
Yes, you’ll still be surrounded by your wedding party or friends and family members you choose to get ready with. Sometimes, having all that time to build anticipation of seeing each other creates more stress or anxiety than intended.
Just getting to see each other privately or right before the ceremony takes out the hot air of anxiety and lets you finally sit in the present moment. A lot of my couples feel better once they see each other, hug each other, and even hold hands for a few minutes at their first look.
If you’re hoping for an easy, casual cocktail hour to enjoy, without having a first look, you won’t get to experience any of it.
Speaking from purely a logistical perspective now, after the ceremony is over, you’ll jump right into family photos and getting hugged and greeted by everyone all at once for about 30 minutes to an hour or longer.
There won’t be a single second when you and your married partner are alone to soak it in together, and the rest of the day feels pretty rushed because of all the photos you’ll be trying to squeeze in now that you’re together.
Even if you aren’t a fan of a first look from an emotional perspective, you can still be a fan of better logistics that ultimately make your day smoother and therefore your overall experience better.
Traditionally, first looks happen naturally at your ceremony entrance, and anyone who still loves this, I totally understand and appreciate your sacred view of this moment!
In the previous point, I made a point for logistics. Logistics can also work in your favor here as well if you don’t want a first look. Maybe you have your ceremony slightly earlier in the day so that there’s a longer cocktail hour that you can join later. Or taking your individual family photos prior to the ceremony shortens the list of family photos to take together after the ceremony. That way, you can still hold value in that moment without losing anything else.
What Are Other Options You Can Have Instead of a First Look?
If you’re still on the fence about whether to have a first look or not, I wanted to share with you some other options you could consider that still give you intimate, private time to spend with your partner before your ceremony but without seeing each other:
Have a first touch
A first touch is a great alternative (and meaningful) option to a first look where you can still be near your partner without seeing them. For this, you can both stand on opposite sides of the door, a wall, a tree, etc – anywhere where you can’t see each other and you and your partner can touch hands and spend some time together.
Letter or private vow reading
For this, you and your partner will want to find a quiet, private place where you can read to each other but still not see one another. You could put two chairs facing back to back in a room, or also stand on opposite sides of a wall or a door. You can also hold hands with each other while doing your reading too if you want!
What if We Still Want to See Each Other Before the Ceremony but Not Have a First Look?
If you know that you want to see and spend time with your partner but not have the big moment of a first look, then I always recommend to my couples to get ready together. This way you can spend a good amount of time together before the rest of your day unfolds! You and your partner can even enjoy an activity together before getting ready if that’s your vibe, such as sharing breakfast together, going on a walk, or something different!
First Look vs No First Look: Which Is Right for You?
I hope you found all this info on choosing to do a first look or not helpful! When it comes to having a first look (or not), remember there is no “right” decision – it depends on what you and your partner decide you want to do.
And… if you’re still looking for a Hawaii wedding photographer, I’d love to connect! Whether or not you’re for a first look or against it, I want to know what you’d like to happen and make it work for you all while capturing beautiful candid moments. I’m for the couple who doesn’t need a checklist of photos crossed off, but space to feel and experience their day fully. If you love hard, feel deeply, and hope this day will be more than just a blur, I can’t wait to meet you!
You can head over here to learn more about my wedding services or get in touch with me here. Let’s talk about how to bring your dream wedding vision to life!
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